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[Cross posted to my Tumblr. I thought it could be relevant to my ACTUAL SITE. Go fig.]

Laurishly posting about her visit to the Toilet Seat Museum with Mermaidofthesoil made me laaaaugh, cos it remindedme of this crazy little place on Hollywood Beach called The Le Tub Saloon.

South Florida Tumblrs — have any of you been to this place?

It’s genuinely hilarious. As a South Florida native and as someone who used to work on Hollywood Beach and has thus driven up and down that strip of land huuuuundreds of times, I can attest to the fact that it’s easy to miss this place. It’s on A1A, facing the intercoastal, and hidden by tons of lush greenery. It’s easy to spot once you know it’s there, but yeah, it’s a HIDDEN JEWEL, that one.

So, my best friend Karla and I got invited by our friend Martie to her boyfriend’s friend’s birthday party at Taverna Opa on Hollywood one night. I don’t remember the exact details, but after waiting around for, seriously, over an hour (we saw that effing conga line circle the building at least seven times), for some reason we were denied entry — as is just par for course when I go out with Karla.

Dejected, grumpy, and hungry, Karla is like, “Well, we can go to Le Tub, it’s just a couple blocks up.” And off we went.

This place, man. It’s a friggen gem. It appeals completely to Karla’s and my sense of humor. There are tubs, sinks, and toilets scattered throughout this place. It is completely outdoors. When we got there, there were probably 5 people total enjoying the effing place, completely deserted, and really, really dark.

So we sat ourselves at a big picnic table overlooking the intercoastal: Myself, Martie, her boyf, Karla, and her boyf at the time. I’m constantly a fifth wheel — whatever.

Seriously

The server brings over some menus. They are hand printed. Haaaaaaand Priiiinted, on Xerox paper, with drawings scribbled on ’em. She then begins to list off all the items they don’t have available — which turns out to be most of the menu. Fabulous.

We ordered many rounds of beers and, like, french fries. We sat around and shrugged and giggled that this was a night that would only happen to us.

Then, it started to rain.

I mean, it couldn’t have been more perfect. Past midnight, sitting in the dark, surrounded by toilets, eating french fries and a lot of beer. In the rain.

To top it all off, they don’t take credit cards there, and I was the only homie with cash. The boys had to take turns walking to the nearest ATM (the one on premesis was busted, no joke), and I am almost positive that we all overpaid because attempting to split a check by cellphone light is pretty impossible.

So yes. Only on Hollywood Beach, basically. I give this place an A+++++ WILL DINE AGAIN (in bizarroland, maybe). But if you’re up for hilarious adventures, it’s definitely for you. Apparently they’ve got the best burger in America, or something. I wouldn’t know.

[Also, I don’t know what would possess someone to take a picture with their crying newborn under a toilet seat scrawled with the words “Le Tub Dumb Ass Club Newest Member,” but damn if Flickr doesn’t show me the most wonderful things.]

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I’ve never been to a political rally before.

I got an email the other night from VoteForChange that Barack and Michelle Obama were going to be speaking to voters in Downtown Miami at Bicentennial Park on Tuesday afternoon. CLEARLY I was excited. All of the fervent Obama supporters always say that he’s so inspiring and an amazing speaker and whatever whatever, and I was hoping to go down there and finally see for myself in person, since, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t yet been inspired by The Obama.

I like him, don’t get me wrong. And clearly he’s better than the alternative, but, I’m just sayin.

ANYWAY. The doors to the park opened at 3:45 and the Senator was scheduled to speak at 5:45. I guess I underestimated the amount of people who would be there. I arrived downtown exactly at 3:45, which was a bad idea since there was no parking ANYWHERE nearby. The garages and lots all hiked up their parking to $20 flat rate, and man, I am broke. After taking a look at the HUGE crowd gathered outside the park, and circling the area outside of Bayside like 5 times, I toyed with the idea of just going home. But NO. I was DETERMINED.

I finally found parking, at a meter on the beach, just about a mile away — literally. After an energizing walk to the park, I didn’t really know what to do or where to stand so I kinda just stuck myself on the first place I saw, as other people did the same around me. This was at already 4:45.

45.

Imagine this scene, times about 7, and you will begin to understand just how many people were standing OUTSIDE of Bicentennial Park as of 4:45.

By the time any of us found out that we wouldn’t be able to make it INSIDE the park because it was already full, there were so many hundreds of people crowded behind us that it was near impossible to escape the mob. Optimistic, however, I figured maybe we’d be able to get close to the gates and see at least SOMETHING. I am a determined blogger.

However, that was not really the case. Boo. LONG story short, a few hundred of us did make it into the park by around 6:15 and were IMMEDIATELY directed to the exit.

This was about as close as I got to seeing Barack Obama all day. Oh well!

This was about as close as I got to seeing Barack Obama all day. Oh well!

Overall, I’m glad to see how many people were there to support Obama. I think I heard somewhere that there were just about 30,000 people in attendance. I think that may have been in addition to the couple thousand of us standing outside, plus the people in the condos who snuck into balconies to watch from above.

Am I inspired yet? Ehhh, we’ll see. But it’s comforting to know how many people in my city are over this current administration and are ready for — dare I say? Ready for Change.

Some other highlights:

Really? At least they spelled Repudiate properly....

Really? At least they spelled Repudiate properly....

The other side of the sign

The other side of the sign said "GOD BLESS YOUR GRANDMOTHER," of course in reference to Obama temporarily taking a break in Honolulu to visit with his Grandmother, whose health is has been reported as fragile as of late. It was sweet.

A bit of the aftermath.

A bit of the aftermath.

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As for theAAAAAGH GUESS WHAT. I’M GONNA SEE OBAMA TODAY. I’M. SEEIN’. OBAMA TODAY. OMG. Watch, I’m gonna drive all the way down there and his docs are gonna be like MAN THAT RALLY IN ORLANDO YESTERDAY WAS AWESOME. SO AWESOME, IN FACT, THAT DA MAN CAN’T SPEAK TO YOU GOOD FOLKS TODAY. SORRIES. GO VOTE. L8R.

If that happens, I will seriously just about cry my face off. I will have no face, because I will have cried it off.

Anyway, here’s today’s show. I really liked this one. It was pretty decent. SHOUTOUTZZZZ to Kimmy Falcon from OlyVil for letting me steal some of her Autumn Playlist for my show today. HOMIES.

  1. Death Cab for Cutie — Bixby Canyon Bridge
  2. We are Scientiests — The Great Escape
  3. Cold War Kids — Hospital Bed
  4. Kings of Leon — On Call
  5. Kate Nash — Mariella
  6. Bang Camaro — F.Y.T.F.O.
  7. M83 — Don’t Save Us from the Flames
  8. Snowden & Treasure Fingers — Anti-Anti
  9. Jay Z — What They Gonna Do pt. 2
  10. Extra Action Marching Band — Black Chicken [myspace]
  11. WTF TUESDAY TRACK: B52s — Rock Lobster. I know.
  12. Rogue Wave — Publish My Love
  13. Beirut — The Gulag Orkestar
  14. The Strokes — Modern Girls & Old Fashioned Men

Need a download of today’s show? Chekkit:

As for the events going down today, like I mentioned, Obama is gonna be in Bicentennial Park this afternoon speaking to voters. Early voting started YESTERDAY so make sure that you get that crap done before Election Day. It’ll be better for everyone involved, k? Anyway, you can find out some more information about the event here: http://fl.barackobama.com/MiamiChange

The Fools Gold CD Release party is gonna be tonight in Downtown Miami at the White Room. It’s a free show, 18+, and doors open at 10:30p. You do have to RSVP to get in, though, and you can do that here: https://secure.scion.com/scion/ssl/rsvp/miamiScionAV.do

Okay seriously, though. My show today was cool but tomorrow is going to be AMAZING. It’s RETRO 90’S WEDNESDAY on the show, and that ended up producing the most hilarious, nostalgic crap I’ve ever made. So yeah. LISTEN TO IT. OR I’LL CUT OFF YOUR HEAD.

Violence solves everything.

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It started on a Thursday afternoon. Location: Internet.

I was chillin at home, playing on GTI when I noticed this thread: Celisse, are you going? It beckoned to me. Hena had just informed me that one of my favorite people in music, Jay Z, was playing a free show in Miami — a voter registration rally for the Barack Obama campaign. I was immediately thrilled.

For those of you who don’t know, I am obsessed with Jay Z. I do not know why, it’s rather inexplicable, and totally hopeless. My headline on this blog comes from my favorite song by him. In fact, just a few hours before the thread in question, I had just posted an entry on OlyVil about My Favorite Hustla and My Favorite Hottie. It was kind of kismet.

I could pick up tickets to the show at any of the South Florida Vote for Change offices, and I was already planning to get up early the next day and pick up my own free pair of tickets for the Sunday night show at Bayfront Park, and also get some questions answered about the status of my registration (which is valid, thank goodness).

I failed to realize, however, that the tickets were being given out on THURSDAY, and it was already THURSDAY NIGHT. I had missed my chance! I immediately turned to The Craigslist to see if anyone was selling theirs. The prices for the FREE SHOW were outrageous. The cheapest I saw them was for $125 each. The most expensive? $400 each. For a FREE. SHOW. These people were clearly insane.

Refusing defeat, I decided that I’d spend Friday morning calling all 13 of the South Florida Obama offices, in the unlikely event that one of them was hiding some extra tickets someplace. The first three I called didn’t have any tickets. Four more offices didn’t even answer. But, one shining, gleaming little office in Hollywood gave me the news I might have wanted to hear: They didn’t have any more tickets for Sunday night. BUT. BUT BUT BUT!. The demand was so great, that Hov’ added a Monday afternoon show, and there would be tickets available for that on Saturday morning, and I could definitely get some if I came before 10am. WHAT?

The whole thing seemed pretty unbelievable. Was there really a second show added? I’d heard someplace that Jay Z was playing a regular show on Monday night in Tampa. A free Monday afternoon show seemed almost too good to be true. So I used the power of the Google, and found out that the news was TRUE, and that there was a second show added and that, provided I got to the office before they were out of tickets, I’d still have a chance to see my favorite rapper at an Obama rally in just a few days!

Nothing was going to stop me, not even the torrential rains that covered South Florida all weekend. Saturday morning came quickly, and I woke much earlier than I’ve been used to lately, and made my way to the Hollywood office. I got there at the same time as 4 other people, and we started the line outside the humble little door, where light rain turned into steady rain which turned into heavy rain. And there we stood, hoodies covering our heads, umbrellas dripping around us, for TWO HOURS, as the line grew longer and rowdier and more wet.

I’m going to skip the long and mostly unrelated story about the ASSHOLES that got there after we did who literally cut in line in front of us, one of whom was rude enough to block my way through the door before SLAMMING IT IN MY FACE, and just skip to the part where a sopping wet me excitedly gets my tickets, and made my way home to dry off and take a much needed nap.

I GOT MY TICKETS. All of my friends, and most of the internet knew about it, and I could not wait for Monday afternoon to come.

And it did come. I woke again, too early for my tastes, and headed to M’s house, totally ridiculously excited. The bad weather had finally passed over the Magic City and it was a sunny, INCREDIBLY hot day. We made our way to downtown, spent entirely too long finding parking, and walked hurriedly down the street to Bayfront Park.

There were tons of rally workers, rushing to get everyone registered to vote today, the last day to do so here in Florida. I wasn’t worried. M and I were already registered and have been for a while. But seeing the efforts made us feel a sense of.. pride? We’re not sure. But we did comment to each other that it was really cool to be at a rally, the first one either of us had been to before. Seeing Jay Z was just a bonus.

Only somewhat surprisingly, considering the day and time of the show, the place wasn’t nearly as packed as it was on Sunday night, the show that I missed out on. But I was fine with that, it meant I got to be closer to the stage to get some good pictures. We found some good, albeit burning hot seats right in the middle of the amphitheatre and sat down, and proceeded to sweat our entire faces off for the next half hour.

It was 12:30pm by the time we sat down, which was when the show was scheduled to start. It was going to begin any minute, and we were totally excited to be there. But 12:30 quickly became 12:40, which quickly became 12:45, which quickly became 1:00pm, and that’s when an Obama came out and told us the news:

I’m so sorry to tell you all this, but the show last night was such a phenomenal success that Jay Z actually strained his vocal muscles, and while he’s been with his doctors all morning, they advised him not to perform for this show. But please don’t hesitate to get registered and ….

From there, her voice was muffled by the roaring groans of the disappointed crowd. Wait, disappointed? I mean PISSED OFF. My friend and I lifted our hot, sweaty bodies off the benches we were sitting upon and joined the mass of people angrily stomping out of the park. Rally workers were still calling out to people to get registered, but they were met with the jeers and shouts of a livid crowd shouting back at them: “FUCK VOTING. FUCK THIS SHIT.”

M and I were pretty horrified, even though we were angry, and we got out of there as quickly as possible, stopping in Bayside to cool ourselves down in the pretty, air-conditioned shops throughout the mall by the bay.

We made it back to my car, and, kinda dejected (at least on my part) went back home, feeling our day was wasted. We could have been sleeping! Ugh.

So, I guess, some notes for the future:

  • Don’t get excited for free shows
  • Don’t bother trying to get tickets to free shows, especially if it means standing in the rain (I feel a heinous cold coming on, man.)
  • Always bring plenty of water
  • Beware of scary angry people

This was so typical. THANKS A LOT, LIFE.

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June 3, 2008

About a month ago, I was invited by one of my good friends to an event called DayGLOW, hosted at Club SPACE in Downtown Miami. I pretty much LOVE Downtown Miami, and after some research on the event, I really couldn’t turn it down. The premise is that you wear all white and get DRENCHED in neon paint for the duration of the evening. WHAT possibly sounds like more fun on a Thursday evening? Pretty much NOTHING.

After scoping out the official DayGLOW Website about 2,000 times, I was excited to the tips of my fingers for the chance to cover my friends in ooey gooey neon colors and listen to some of the best DJ’s in town while doing it.

I managed to find an all-white outfit that was cute enough without having to worry about destroying it, along with a thick silver waist belt, and a cute pair of strappy silver sandals (on sale! THANKS, DSW!). I was ready to get out there and have some fun.

My friends and I departed for SPACE around 11:45. None of us had ever been there, instead preferring our usual haunt, neighbor megaclub Nocturnal. It was a night of firsts for all of us, and as we walked in, we were immediately splattered with drops of paint from nearby party-goers. The music was relentless and it was an awesome sight to behold all of the bright blue emanating from the all-white ensembles of the crowd on the dance floor.

Apparently there was extra fun scheduled in the lounge and the terrace, but we heard it was kinda lame up there, and honestly, I didn’t even notice anyone going up there, or coming from there, so we all stuck to the first level. Anyone go up there? Let me know how it was.

We bought our paint ($5 for a pretty big bottle) — one green, one orange, and one pink — and headed out to the dance floor. It was such a relief to be in a club in a city that is so focused on constantly looking gorgeous and perfectly coiffed and styled, and throwing all of that out the window and letting go without having to worry about how your peers are judging you, just for one night. No one cared, because we were all having too much fun covering each other in paint.

The people around me were dancing and slipping and falling (which was HILARIOUS, naturally), and at some point there were so many people crowded around me that I could barely move. I made a brief escape to the bar before my friend came up to me, screaming, perhaps a little bit too excitedly: “CELISSE, OH MY GOD. THIS GUY IS REALLY SICK AND I’M GOING TO SAVE HIS LIFE!”

….Obviously, simple pleasures in my friend’s life, right? But I spent time with her as she took care of a boy who probably had just a LITTLE too much to drink, and our other companion made friends with someone else nearby. After Drunkie was feeling better, we made our way back to the floor and stood back and just watched everything around us. The energy was as electrifying as the colors flying through the air in every direction. It was kind of amazing.

I bonded with so many people that night, as odd as it may sound. I became closer with my friends who accompanied me, and I became even closer with my city, who never fails to disappoint me.

It was a great way to start the 4th of July weekend.

NEXT WEEKEND: Vodka Watermelons?!!?!

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