Archive for the ‘Miami’ Category

[Cross posted to my Tumblr. I thought it could be relevant to my ACTUAL SITE. Go fig.]

Laurishly posting about her visit to the Toilet Seat Museum with Mermaidofthesoil made me laaaaugh, cos it remindedme of this crazy little place on Hollywood Beach called The Le Tub Saloon.

South Florida Tumblrs — have any of you been to this place?

It’s genuinely hilarious. As a South Florida native and as someone who used to work on Hollywood Beach and has thus driven up and down that strip of land huuuuundreds of times, I can attest to the fact that it’s easy to miss this place. It’s on A1A, facing the intercoastal, and hidden by tons of lush greenery. It’s easy to spot once you know it’s there, but yeah, it’s a HIDDEN JEWEL, that one.

So, my best friend Karla and I got invited by our friend Martie to her boyfriend’s friend’s birthday party at Taverna Opa on Hollywood one night. I don’t remember the exact details, but after waiting around for, seriously, over an hour (we saw that effing conga line circle the building at least seven times), for some reason we were denied entry — as is just par for course when I go out with Karla.

Dejected, grumpy, and hungry, Karla is like, “Well, we can go to Le Tub, it’s just a couple blocks up.” And off we went.

This place, man. It’s a friggen gem. It appeals completely to Karla’s and my sense of humor. There are tubs, sinks, and toilets scattered throughout this place. It is completely outdoors. When we got there, there were probably 5 people total enjoying the effing place, completely deserted, and really, really dark.

So we sat ourselves at a big picnic table overlooking the intercoastal: Myself, Martie, her boyf, Karla, and her boyf at the time. I’m constantly a fifth wheel — whatever.


The server brings over some menus. They are hand printed. Haaaaaaand Priiiinted, on Xerox paper, with drawings scribbled on ’em. She then begins to list off all the items they don’t have available — which turns out to be most of the menu. Fabulous.

We ordered many rounds of beers and, like, french fries. We sat around and shrugged and giggled that this was a night that would only happen to us.

Then, it started to rain.

I mean, it couldn’t have been more perfect. Past midnight, sitting in the dark, surrounded by toilets, eating french fries and a lot of beer. In the rain.

To top it all off, they don’t take credit cards there, and I was the only homie with cash. The boys had to take turns walking to the nearest ATM (the one on premesis was busted, no joke), and I am almost positive that we all overpaid because attempting to split a check by cellphone light is pretty impossible.

So yes. Only on Hollywood Beach, basically. I give this place an A+++++ WILL DINE AGAIN (in bizarroland, maybe). But if you’re up for hilarious adventures, it’s definitely for you. Apparently they’ve got the best burger in America, or something. I wouldn’t know.

[Also, I don’t know what would possess someone to take a picture with their crying newborn under a toilet seat scrawled with the words “Le Tub Dumb Ass Club Newest Member,” but damn if Flickr doesn’t show me the most wonderful things.]


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I’ve never been to a political rally before.

I got an email the other night from VoteForChange that Barack and Michelle Obama were going to be speaking to voters in Downtown Miami at Bicentennial Park on Tuesday afternoon. CLEARLY I was excited. All of the fervent Obama supporters always say that he’s so inspiring and an amazing speaker and whatever whatever, and I was hoping to go down there and finally see for myself in person, since, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t yet been inspired by The Obama.

I like him, don’t get me wrong. And clearly he’s better than the alternative, but, I’m just sayin.

ANYWAY. The doors to the park opened at 3:45 and the Senator was scheduled to speak at 5:45. I guess I underestimated the amount of people who would be there. I arrived downtown exactly at 3:45, which was a bad idea since there was no parking ANYWHERE nearby. The garages and lots all hiked up their parking to $20 flat rate, and man, I am broke. After taking a look at the HUGE crowd gathered outside the park, and circling the area outside of Bayside like 5 times, I toyed with the idea of just going home. But NO. I was DETERMINED.

I finally found parking, at a meter on the beach, just about a mile away — literally. After an energizing walk to the park, I didn’t really know what to do or where to stand so I kinda just stuck myself on the first place I saw, as other people did the same around me. This was at already 4:45.


Imagine this scene, times about 7, and you will begin to understand just how many people were standing OUTSIDE of Bicentennial Park as of 4:45.

By the time any of us found out that we wouldn’t be able to make it INSIDE the park because it was already full, there were so many hundreds of people crowded behind us that it was near impossible to escape the mob. Optimistic, however, I figured maybe we’d be able to get close to the gates and see at least SOMETHING. I am a determined blogger.

However, that was not really the case. Boo. LONG story short, a few hundred of us did make it into the park by around 6:15 and were IMMEDIATELY directed to the exit.

This was about as close as I got to seeing Barack Obama all day. Oh well!

This was about as close as I got to seeing Barack Obama all day. Oh well!

Overall, I’m glad to see how many people were there to support Obama. I think I heard somewhere that there were just about 30,000 people in attendance. I think that may have been in addition to the couple thousand of us standing outside, plus the people in the condos who snuck into balconies to watch from above.

Am I inspired yet? Ehhh, we’ll see. But it’s comforting to know how many people in my city are over this current administration and are ready for — dare I say? Ready for Change.

Some other highlights:

Really? At least they spelled Repudiate properly....

Really? At least they spelled Repudiate properly....

The other side of the sign

The other side of the sign said "GOD BLESS YOUR GRANDMOTHER," of course in reference to Obama temporarily taking a break in Honolulu to visit with his Grandmother, whose health is has been reported as fragile as of late. It was sweet.

A bit of the aftermath.

A bit of the aftermath.

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I went to see Obama yesterday. My butt hurts from walking MILES AND MILES. Or two miles. Cos I parked that far away. SHEESH. I wasn’t gonna park downtown and pay $20 to some doofus to watch my car for three hours. PLEASE. $3 by the beach.

ANYWAY, that is a story for a seperate post. You’re here for RETRO 90s WEDNESDAY on the 9am Coffee Break, my radio show for Party 934.

This show was SO FUN to make, honestly. It brought back so many random memories and crazy stories and was just a lot of crappy fun. People are always so WEIRDLY nostalgic for things from the 80s, but I can’t get behind that nonsense. I hardly remember anything from the 80s — my memories of that period don’t really extend past me in diapers, hopping and bopping around the house to Bruce Springsteen’s Dancin’ in the Dark, while poking my 1 year old cousins belly like the Pillsbury dough boy. And I only remember THAT cos I’ve seen it on video!

My memories from the 90s, however, and actually relevant. Things like bringing water balloons and other contraband to school so we could gang up on some kid, but totally getting caught and having to sit in indoor suspension the WHOLE DAY. Whine. And the summer that Simon Rex hosted MTV from The Rapids in West Palm Beach, and BEGGING my mom to take me there every single day. Loved that guy.

So anyway, this show was great for me. YOU BETTER ENJOY. OR ELSE. Here’s the tracklist:

  1. Inner Circle — Sweat (A Lalalala long)
  2. Montell Jordan — This is How We Do It
  3. Savage Garden — Truly Madly Deeply
  4. Verve Pipe — The Freshman
  5. Liz Phair — Mesmerizing
  6. 2pac & Dr. Dre — California Love
  7. Natalie Imbruglia — Torn
  8. Counting Crows — Mr Jones
  9. Boyz II Men — Motownphilly
  10. Ace of Base — The Sign
  11. Smashing Pumpkins — 1979
  12. Shai — If I ever Fall In Love
  13. Sunny Day Real Estate — In Circles
  14. The Cranberries — Linger

I’m sad that there were so many other requests that I never got to. I originally put a few of them in, but then I hosted this nutty thread on GTI which made me remember a whole crapload of songs I’d completely forgot about, and something had to go. The original playlist was pretty good, but this one I think is EXCELLENT. So, you know. hahhaah.


Wahah. ENJOY.

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If that happens, I will seriously just about cry my face off. I will have no face, because I will have cried it off.

Anyway, here’s today’s show. I really liked this one. It was pretty decent. SHOUTOUTZZZZ to Kimmy Falcon from OlyVil for letting me steal some of her Autumn Playlist for my show today. HOMIES.

  1. Death Cab for Cutie — Bixby Canyon Bridge
  2. We are Scientiests — The Great Escape
  3. Cold War Kids — Hospital Bed
  4. Kings of Leon — On Call
  5. Kate Nash — Mariella
  6. Bang Camaro — F.Y.T.F.O.
  7. M83 — Don’t Save Us from the Flames
  8. Snowden & Treasure Fingers — Anti-Anti
  9. Jay Z — What They Gonna Do pt. 2
  10. Extra Action Marching Band — Black Chicken [myspace]
  11. WTF TUESDAY TRACK: B52s — Rock Lobster. I know.
  12. Rogue Wave — Publish My Love
  13. Beirut — The Gulag Orkestar
  14. The Strokes — Modern Girls & Old Fashioned Men

Need a download of today’s show? Chekkit:

As for the events going down today, like I mentioned, Obama is gonna be in Bicentennial Park this afternoon speaking to voters. Early voting started YESTERDAY so make sure that you get that crap done before Election Day. It’ll be better for everyone involved, k? Anyway, you can find out some more information about the event here: http://fl.barackobama.com/MiamiChange

The Fools Gold CD Release party is gonna be tonight in Downtown Miami at the White Room. It’s a free show, 18+, and doors open at 10:30p. You do have to RSVP to get in, though, and you can do that here: https://secure.scion.com/scion/ssl/rsvp/miamiScionAV.do

Okay seriously, though. My show today was cool but tomorrow is going to be AMAZING. It’s RETRO 90’S WEDNESDAY on the show, and that ended up producing the most hilarious, nostalgic crap I’ve ever made. So yeah. LISTEN TO IT. OR I’LL CUT OFF YOUR HEAD.

Violence solves everything.

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It started on a Thursday afternoon. Location: Internet.

I was chillin at home, playing on GTI when I noticed this thread: Celisse, are you going? It beckoned to me. Hena had just informed me that one of my favorite people in music, Jay Z, was playing a free show in Miami — a voter registration rally for the Barack Obama campaign. I was immediately thrilled.

For those of you who don’t know, I am obsessed with Jay Z. I do not know why, it’s rather inexplicable, and totally hopeless. My headline on this blog comes from my favorite song by him. In fact, just a few hours before the thread in question, I had just posted an entry on OlyVil about My Favorite Hustla and My Favorite Hottie. It was kind of kismet.

I could pick up tickets to the show at any of the South Florida Vote for Change offices, and I was already planning to get up early the next day and pick up my own free pair of tickets for the Sunday night show at Bayfront Park, and also get some questions answered about the status of my registration (which is valid, thank goodness).

I failed to realize, however, that the tickets were being given out on THURSDAY, and it was already THURSDAY NIGHT. I had missed my chance! I immediately turned to The Craigslist to see if anyone was selling theirs. The prices for the FREE SHOW were outrageous. The cheapest I saw them was for $125 each. The most expensive? $400 each. For a FREE. SHOW. These people were clearly insane.

Refusing defeat, I decided that I’d spend Friday morning calling all 13 of the South Florida Obama offices, in the unlikely event that one of them was hiding some extra tickets someplace. The first three I called didn’t have any tickets. Four more offices didn’t even answer. But, one shining, gleaming little office in Hollywood gave me the news I might have wanted to hear: They didn’t have any more tickets for Sunday night. BUT. BUT BUT BUT!. The demand was so great, that Hov’ added a Monday afternoon show, and there would be tickets available for that on Saturday morning, and I could definitely get some if I came before 10am. WHAT?

The whole thing seemed pretty unbelievable. Was there really a second show added? I’d heard someplace that Jay Z was playing a regular show on Monday night in Tampa. A free Monday afternoon show seemed almost too good to be true. So I used the power of the Google, and found out that the news was TRUE, and that there was a second show added and that, provided I got to the office before they were out of tickets, I’d still have a chance to see my favorite rapper at an Obama rally in just a few days!

Nothing was going to stop me, not even the torrential rains that covered South Florida all weekend. Saturday morning came quickly, and I woke much earlier than I’ve been used to lately, and made my way to the Hollywood office. I got there at the same time as 4 other people, and we started the line outside the humble little door, where light rain turned into steady rain which turned into heavy rain. And there we stood, hoodies covering our heads, umbrellas dripping around us, for TWO HOURS, as the line grew longer and rowdier and more wet.

I’m going to skip the long and mostly unrelated story about the ASSHOLES that got there after we did who literally cut in line in front of us, one of whom was rude enough to block my way through the door before SLAMMING IT IN MY FACE, and just skip to the part where a sopping wet me excitedly gets my tickets, and made my way home to dry off and take a much needed nap.

I GOT MY TICKETS. All of my friends, and most of the internet knew about it, and I could not wait for Monday afternoon to come.

And it did come. I woke again, too early for my tastes, and headed to M’s house, totally ridiculously excited. The bad weather had finally passed over the Magic City and it was a sunny, INCREDIBLY hot day. We made our way to downtown, spent entirely too long finding parking, and walked hurriedly down the street to Bayfront Park.

There were tons of rally workers, rushing to get everyone registered to vote today, the last day to do so here in Florida. I wasn’t worried. M and I were already registered and have been for a while. But seeing the efforts made us feel a sense of.. pride? We’re not sure. But we did comment to each other that it was really cool to be at a rally, the first one either of us had been to before. Seeing Jay Z was just a bonus.

Only somewhat surprisingly, considering the day and time of the show, the place wasn’t nearly as packed as it was on Sunday night, the show that I missed out on. But I was fine with that, it meant I got to be closer to the stage to get some good pictures. We found some good, albeit burning hot seats right in the middle of the amphitheatre and sat down, and proceeded to sweat our entire faces off for the next half hour.

It was 12:30pm by the time we sat down, which was when the show was scheduled to start. It was going to begin any minute, and we were totally excited to be there. But 12:30 quickly became 12:40, which quickly became 12:45, which quickly became 1:00pm, and that’s when an Obama came out and told us the news:

I’m so sorry to tell you all this, but the show last night was such a phenomenal success that Jay Z actually strained his vocal muscles, and while he’s been with his doctors all morning, they advised him not to perform for this show. But please don’t hesitate to get registered and ….

From there, her voice was muffled by the roaring groans of the disappointed crowd. Wait, disappointed? I mean PISSED OFF. My friend and I lifted our hot, sweaty bodies off the benches we were sitting upon and joined the mass of people angrily stomping out of the park. Rally workers were still calling out to people to get registered, but they were met with the jeers and shouts of a livid crowd shouting back at them: “FUCK VOTING. FUCK THIS SHIT.”

M and I were pretty horrified, even though we were angry, and we got out of there as quickly as possible, stopping in Bayside to cool ourselves down in the pretty, air-conditioned shops throughout the mall by the bay.

We made it back to my car, and, kinda dejected (at least on my part) went back home, feeling our day was wasted. We could have been sleeping! Ugh.

So, I guess, some notes for the future:

  • Don’t get excited for free shows
  • Don’t bother trying to get tickets to free shows, especially if it means standing in the rain (I feel a heinous cold coming on, man.)
  • Always bring plenty of water
  • Beware of scary angry people

This was so typical. THANKS A LOT, LIFE.

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You know.. when your business is LEISURE.*

(* – Leisure, in this instance, can be defined as WOEFUL and ABYSMAL UNEMPLOYMENT.)

So turns out that ugly hurricane started taking a southwest track and South Florida is luckily in the clear for this one. THANK GOD. I can’t deal with this uncertainty. It’s totally annoying and stresses out everyone in the whole city.

Now that I don’t have to worry about that screwing up the rest of the week, I can start planning this week’s activities. MiamiNights was actually not completely useless, for once, and tipped me off to this great event, presented by The Miami New Times and hosted at the Miami Science Museum:

The Iron Fork event will showcase some of Miami’s most popular chefs as they face off in a head-to-head cooking competition that will be judged by local area celebrities. The winning chef will receive the prestigious “Golden Fork” award and wins bragging rights for the next year!

During the exciting cooking competition, guests will enjoy cocktails, live music, and food samplings from a number of the city’s best restaurants.

It will also be the last day to enjoy The Dinosaurs of China exhibition before they become extinct…again.

$20 pre-sale or $25 at the door. Go to
miaminewtimes.vvmsecure.com to purchase your tickets now

It’s gonna be Wednesday night from 6pm – 10pm, with an after party at The Forge. I don’t know how many Miami readers I have here, but if you’re thinking of checking out the event, let me know!

Also, HI, CLAY CONLEY IS ONE OF THE JUDGES, AND THAT IS ONE HOT HOT HOT MAN. Seriously, I have total foodie lust for him. Not even joking.

For now, I’m gonna go wash my poor car, who hasn’t had a good washing in MONTHS. MONTHS!! Sheldon needs a bath. :C Have a good Sunday, butts.

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That Sarah Palin is one SASSY little MOTHER OF PEARL.

Instead of watching the RNC last night, I spent my time being productive by getting sushi with a friend. I basically win. Two nights of that crap just had to not happen ok? Ok.

I definitely was that girl and said my waiter was cute. And he heard me. TOTAL EMBARRASSMENT, since I am incredibly socially awkward around the opposite sex. Anyway, he was BRAND NEW. I can’t hit on the waiters when they’re new! It’s bad enough we have a REPUTATION at that place. I blame M. Fully.


In wholly unrelated news, can we please talk about 90210? It was as bad as I thought it would be. To be honest, though, I was never a fan of the original, so I come in with a biased opinion to start. The storylines are the same as every other storyline about a normal small town girl making waves in the big rich city. At least Gossip Girls gives us different scenery. But the most concerning thing about the whole debacle? Observe:

Shenae Grimes (L), AnnaLynne McCord (C), Jessica Stroup (R)

Shenae Grimes (L), AnnaLynne McCord (C), Jessica Stroup (R)

This is AnnaLynne McCord. She is pretty. I can count all of her ribs, but that’s irrelevant. This girl is 21, which isn’t really too old to be playing a teenager, but she LOOKS 25, and is playing a HIGHSCHOOL SOPHOMORE. What? How stoned were the casting agents when THAT decision was made?

The other girls on the show aren’t so bad. Even Shenae can pass as a 15 year old. But AnnaLynne looks like she’s been around the well-maintained cul-de-sac a few too many times.

The final verdict? The new 90210 barely gets a C-. Someone text me when the storylines aren’t all straight out of South of Nowhere.


In WHOLLY UNRELATED NEWS AGAIN (look, some people post 7 times a day. I just shove everything into one long post.), I’d like to introduce you all, friends and lovers, to my new friend IKE:



This little monster pretty much exploded over the Atlantic a couple days ago, going from a Tropical storm to a Category 3 in a matter of hours, and then strengthening up to a 4 a few hours after that. Right now it’s a solid Category 3, but as it approaches the warmer waters of the Caribbean, there’s a chance it might strengthen more over the weekend.

That stupid asshole is headed straight for South Florida, although the projected track maps have been leaning it slightly more towards the keys instead of the mainland, which hey.. sucks for the keys, but I don’t want another Category 3 sitting on my porch again, OKAY? I JUST DON’T. Wilma was MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME.

I did the best thing ever, by reading tons of stupid crap on the Wikipedia about category 4 hurricanes, which served to do NOTHING but freak me out needlessly. I’m moronic and paranoid. But alas. In the mean time, I’m being forced to go buy more supplies JUST IN CASE, so off I go.

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