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Posts Tagged ‘blog stats’

So, thanks to the Olympics, now that people actually read my blog (a whopping 80 have visited just today. HELLO, EVERYONE.) I’ve been paying close attention to my blog stats which WordPress conveniently supplies, and giggling to myself about the ways that people find my blog.

Many of you visitors have been finding my blog via THE GOOGLE, which is fantastic. But when I study the terms that people are using to find my blog, it worries me, because very few of the topics in the search terms are actually discussed here, and GOD KNOWS I hate finding something on the google which turns out to completely not answer my question at all.

Since I’m friendly and helpful, I’ve decided to attempt to answer all the questions that apparently you’ve all been stumbling upon my blog to find! So ON WE GO:

THERE YOU HAVE IT. These are the top terms from today that people have been using to find my blog. AS YOU CAN SEE, I OBVIOUSLY HAVE MANY READERS AND ADMIRERS FROM NEAR AND FAR. *cough* But anyway, let’s begin.

1. “Katie Hoff sucks” — First off, I would like to say THANK YOU, I AGREE. That’s not really a question as much as it is an ABSOLUTE FACT, but let’s discuss it anyway. Upon viewing that unfortunate girl’s Wikipedia a few days ago, it turns out that she doesnt actually suck as much as one would expect based upon her performace in Beijing. At the World Championships she has a record of doing quite well, earning 6 gold medals between 2005 and 2007, and setting two world records in Melbourne in 2007 [which, of course, now have been broken by Stephanie Rice].

Her impressive past, however, only adds insult to injury when you look at her performances in Beijing. With the media heralding her as the so-called little sister of superstar Michael Phelps, you’d expect her to be able to share some of his professionalism and ability to perform under stress. Instead, she’s completely broken down, much to the surprise of the announcers who usually promise she’ll medal gold in most of the events she had scheduled. After medaling Bronze and Silver in her first two events (which is respectable considering I can barely doggie paddle), her confidence must have taken a hit, causing her to not even make it to the podium in her second two events. She won a bronze in the Women’s 4x200m freestyle relay [thanks to Natalie Coughlin the beautiful, no doubt], and then failed to advance in the semifinals of her last event.

So, maybe her suckage is due in part to the media putting too much pressure on her, in addition to her ambitious schedule of events. Either way, the girl completely failed to deliver over and over again, and thus, we come to the conclusion that yes, Katie Hoff does indeed suck.

2. “Keith Beavers tattoo” — Oh God, KEITH BEAVERS, MY NEW BEST FRIEND!!!!! As was discovered last night during his event, Keith Beavers does have a tattoo of the olympic rings and a maple leaf on the side of his chest. It was kinda difficult to find photos of it, but here’s what I came up with:

BEAVERS. Oh God I love it.

BEAVERS. Oh God I love it.

3. “Keith Beavers nake” — Well. I’m assuming “naked” was meant, and I could BARELY find a photo of his tattoo, so I am not taking the time to find a photo of him naked. SHIT OUTTA LUCK, SON. SORRIES.

4. “Brendan Hansen cross-eyed” — Okay, so I wasn’t just seeing that, was I. I couldn’t find any information about whether or not he actually is cross-eyed, but he sure did look like it in that close-up shot NBC provided us with during coverage the other day, right? I tried to dig up some close-up photos to see what’s up and there’s really no definitive answer. I’ll let you decide for yourselves:

THIS PHOTO IS HILARIOUS.

THIS PHOTO IS HILARIOUS.

Cross eyed, or not cross eyed? Considering he has fallen out of favor with the public (...or with me, anyway), the world may NEVER KNOW.

Cross eyed, or not cross eyed? Considering he has fallen out of favor with the public (...or with me, anyway), the world may NEVER KNOW.

5. “Beavers Tancock” — I don’t really have any idea what they were searching for with this one, but it does sound like a great porno. Set in the woods. The sexy, sexy woods.

6. “Misty May Great Wall of China Dance” — Whatnow? Was there a dance? Was there a Great Wall? Well, I can’t find THAT video, but I found a video of Misty May dances, and a video of Misty May on the Great Wall. Consider your question ANSWERED. Sorta.

7. “Brendan Hanson cross eyed” — Well, first, spelling his name properly will help your search. Secondly, I already answered that! See above.

8. “Alicia Sacramone beaver shots” — Okay, so I totally hope whomever looked that up was TOTALLY DISAPPOINTED by beaver leading to my new BFF, Keith Beavers. As for a beaver shot, I DO NOT CONDONE VIOLENCE AGAINST INNOCENT BUCK-TOOTHED ANIMALS. Or people looking up porno about gymnasts. PERVERTS.

9. “Monaudou” — Well, what would you like to know about her? I find her boring and untalented, personally. Apparently that soap-opera that NBC keeps talking about was caused by Italian swimmer, Luca Marin. Blog, I would like to introduce you to this fine specimen:

Luca Marin. Good looking man. But if you look up his photos on google image search or something, all you find are pictures of him making out with that beastly Laure Manaudou. Maybe if he spent less time kissing ugly girls and more time practicing, he would have a name that anyone in the world actually recognizes. Idiot.

10. “Laure Monaudou nude photos” — I don’t actually know why anyone would want to see these, because IN ALL HONESTY, that woman is spectacularly hideous, But whatever. Naked pictures of Manaudou can be found here. The thumbnails are SFW but when you click on the thumbnails they are VERY VERY GRAPHIC AND VERY VERY SCARY GAPING VAGINA AND VERY HORRIBLE. You have been warned.

Okay, that’s all I got for you today. Milky just won his 7th Gold in Beijing and I’m so happy I screamed. SO HAPPY FOR HIM. The medal ceremony is hopefully going to erase the image of Manaudou’s gaping hole on my computer screen. Holy Jesus please let it be so.

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