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Posts Tagged ‘despair’

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. Since I’m creepy, I love the fact that I have all of these useful stalking materials RIGHT AT MY FINGERTIPS. But since I’m a normal human being who didn’t really take well to the whole college thing and graduated last semester BY THE SKIN OF MY TEETH, basically, it also kinda makes me feel like a big fat failure.

I went to school for Hospitality Management. I went to school on and off for 5 years (less and less, towards the end…..) and graduated by the pure determination and sweat of my mother, who basically would disown me had I not finally graduated. Hospitality Management was what I wanted to study from childhood, and I loved the program and loved my professors and I’m glad that I’m working in an industry that I really love.

The problem lies in the fact that while I may be working in the field that I always wanted to, I’m not ANYWHERE close to the goals I’m hoping to reach (you know, some day…. before I DIE.), and, lets face it, I work in a hotel. It’s not rocket science, here. I spend 50 hours a week catering to bitchy rich people who don’t appreciate the work we do for them anyway. And my degree thus far has gotten me NOTHING. I am still on the line, and the light at tne end of the tunnel seems to have blown out.

Facebook. One of my friends is finishing up her masters and is on her way to moving to Chicago in a few days. Another of my friends is going to Dominica for med school for a year and a half. So many of my other friends are up north at the Ivy Leagues doing Law School. And here I am, at the HOTEL, trying really hard not to cry into my Fruit Loops every morning.

What I do for a living is so vastly unimportant, unappreciated, and really, requires no higher education. Simply put, it’s a monkeys job. So why did I spend 5 years busting my butt trying to accomplish something that has proven in very little time to be a very expensive and completely useless waste of effort?

Not to mention how many of my friends from Highschool are in happy, healthy, functional relationships. Some of them are married, getting married, or have children already. Not that I want them to be unhappy or something but.. what? WHY? Am I the only one left that is completely anti-relationship? Am I the only one who is going to DIE ALONE? The reunion, when it happens, is going to be terribly embarrassing for me. Useless job and not even a boyfriend to show for it.

Gosh, Facebook. Social networking site? More like BLACK HOLE OF DESPAIR.

One day, I’m going to run off to the circus.

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