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Posts Tagged ‘olympics’

I AM PRETTY SURE I PROMISED YOU GUYS A HOTTIE POST. CLICK CLICK CLICK.

Go check it out. I am ridiculously sleepy. GOODBYE.
Okay fine, since I cannot leave you empty handed, look at this before you click:

Mmmmm. Eamon Sullivans Torso.

Mmmmm. Eamon Sullivan's torso.

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Excuse me. I forgot to blog this last night, but Kimmy Falcon informed me that OlyVil (Olympic VIllage, for the slow) handed out about ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND CONDOMS specifically for the athletes in Beijing. Roughly about 10 per athlete. HOLY SKEEZ. WE NEEDA GET IN ON THAT, SERIOUS.

According to this article at USAToday:

“There are many young, strong, single people in the athletes’ village and, like everywhere, some will fall in love or other things, so we need to make condoms available,” Ole Hansen, spokesman for UNAIDS China, told Reuters. “A lot of these young people are not married or in relationships so we want to make sure they have the information and tools to protect themselves if they have sexual encounters.”

So not to offend any athlete, the condoms are not put in rooms but are available at medical sights and at the athlete’s center.

I think it’s AWESOME that they’re promoting safe sex in Olympic Village, but I was really super hoping that they were handing out the 10 condoms in a nice gift pack upon arrival. Like, “HI, HOTTIES. WELCOME TO OLYMPIC VILLAGE. HERE ARE YOUR CREDENTIALS AND YOUR 10 CONDOMS AND MY PHONE NUMBER.”

Thats what I would have done, anyway…….. I want THAT job in London.

Are those the Olympic rings on display in Olympic Village? It looks more like a display of the RUBBER RINGS USED TO SHEATH OLYMPIC HAMMERS DURING DARK DARK NIGHTS IN BEIJING.

Are those the Olympic rings on display in Olympic Village? It looks more like a display of the RUBBER RINGS USED TO SHEATH OLYMPIC HAMMERS DURING DARK DARK NIGHTS IN BEIJING. HMMMM.

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Aside from being completely adorable, he also STOLE the Gold medal away from the Chinese favorite in the Men’s 10m Platform, completely destroying the Chinese Gold sweep of the Diving events.

In addition to that, just his reactions every time he saw one of his scores were just so genuine and truly adorable hahhaaha:

How excited was he? Poor Zhou Luxi must have been kicking himself in the face after he flopped his last dive. Whoops? Anyway, it was such a nice and unexpected end to the Diving events, I was really excited to be able to catch it before I fell asleep last night. I always root for underdogs, what can I say?

So cute.

So cute.

——

Right now I’m watching the closing ceremony to the games and I’m about to cry because GOD. By now we all know how much I love the Olympics and now I don’t even know what I’ll blog about instead. But in general, I’m so glad that I got to watch the WHOLE THING this year, and include my readers (few of you as there may be) in a little bit of my obsession.

I’m so proud of China. From the Opening Ceremony, all through the games, and up to this very moment during the closing ceremony, its so nice to see how things worked out. Everyone was so skeptical of the way China would handle the games, but they did so gracefully and exceeding everyone’s low expectations of them, and I’m happy.

OH GOD THERES A JOHNSON & JOHNSON COMMERCIAL WITH MOMMY PHELPS WITH PICTURES OF BABY MICHAEL AND THEYRE SO CUTE. I LOVE DEBBIE PHELPS. AWWW. God.

The athletes just all came out together and they all look SO excited to be there, even now that it’s over. I LOVE THE GUY WHO WAS JUST RECORDING THE WHOLE THING ON HIS LITTLE DIGITAL CAMERA HAHAHAHA. I would have been doing the same thing. And texting everyone back home with my iPhone.

SHAWN JOHNSON IS SO SMALL. SHE’S ONLY 4’9. THAT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I love her.

This is ridiculous, guys. I want to go back to China, and I want to go to London in 2012 and volunteer and grope hotties and be happy.

OH LOOK AT THEM ALL SHOWING OFF THEIR MEDALS. HELL YEAH. I WOULD BE LIKE LOOK AT MY BRONZE, BITCHES. Yeah right, I would be like LOOK AT ME I GOT 18TH PLACE, BITCHES, BUT I’M HERE. Hahahaha look at Yao Ming. He’s got the best view outta everyone, man.

Yo why is there a medal ceremony going in the middle of the closing events? What? I must have missed something. OH its Marathon. That’s kinda hardcore, man, to get your medals in front of THE ENTIRE WORLD. Give or take.

I love that they’re replaying key moments of the games before commercials. WAH. Beijing 08 was epic. London has some mighty big shoes to fill, man.

——

CAN WE TALK ABOUT MILKY AND STEPHANIE RICE [allegedly] DOIN IT DOIN IT DOIN IT GOOD DURING THE GAMES THIS YEAR? According to this article: link. I am totally in favor of that, since I love them both. Stephanie Rice is about 200 times cuter than SKANKY AMANDA BEARD anyway.

CAN WE ALSO TALK ABOUT THIS HILARIOUS PICTURE OF STEPHANIE RICE AND EAMON SULLIVAN? OH MY GOD. LINK.

Kimmy Falcon(9:20:06 PM): wtf
Kimmy Falcon(9:20:07 PM): ahahah
Celisse (9:20:10 PM): haahahahahahha
Celisse (9:20:11 PM): the picture?
Celisse (9:20:13 PM): i died laughing
Kimmy Falcon(9:20:15 PM): yeah
Celisse (9:20:33 PM): i was just scrolling through and its boring boring and then its EAMON SULLIVAN IN A SUMO SUIT and i died.
Kimmy Falcon(9:20:58 PM): hahahahaha
——
I totally love the Olympic Hymn. Love.
So the Olympic flag was totally not cooperating during the handover and that made me LAUGH, cos I am a child.
YO ANSWER ME THIS, WHY IS LEONA LEWIS SO GORGEOUS? It’s pretty much unfair that that much hot can be set aside for only ONE PERSON. Jeez.
Kimmy Falcon’s thoughts on the London portion of the ceremony:
Kimmy Falcon(9:36:00 PM): david beckham should be on a bike
Kimmy Falcon(9:36:06 PM): aw its so british
Kimmy Falcon(9:36:12 PM): yo imagine that bus ran over those people
Celisse (9:36:20 PM): hahahahahahahaha
Kimmy Falcon(9:36:36 PM): WHERE ARE YOU BECKS
Kimmy Falcon(9:36:46 PM): they need to stop this weird interpretive dance
Kimmy Falcon(9:36:52 PM): i hope david beckham isnt wearing clothes
Kimmy Falcon(9:37:20 PM): this is weird
Kimmy Falcon(9:37:40 PM): pop out of the bus naked, becks!
Celisse (9:38:06 PM): HAHAHAH
Kimmy Falcon(9:38:10 PM): oh i guess hes not in the bus
Celisse (9:38:17 PM): LEONAAAAA
Kimmy Falcon(9:38:24 PM): did the announcer caller her ledona?
Kimmy Falcon(9:38:34 PM): holy fuck her dress
Kimmy Falcon(9:42:10 PM): OMG BECKS
Celisse (9:42:14 PM): SUP DAVID BECKHAM
Kimmy Falcon(9:42:15 PM): YOURE SO FREAKING HOT
Kimmy Falcon(9:42:21 PM): so much hot on one bus
Kimmy Falcon(9:43:25 PM): i went and saw david beckham this summer
Kimmy Falcon(9:43:29 PM): la galaxy
Kimmy Falcon(9:43:34 PM): it was sexy
Celisse (9:43:39 PM): ahahah
Kimmy Falcon(9:43:43 PM): times a million
Leona Lewis and her massive dress and hotness.

Leona Lewis and her massive dress and hotness.

——
Theyre doing the MEMORY TOWER thingie and seriously I am about to cry. WHY DO I GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER THIS STUFF? omg. I am a ridiculous human.
I WANNA SING THAT BEIJING BEIJING SONG. Seriously.
Things the olympics makes me want to do:
1. Drink a lot of Coke.
2. Eat a lot of McDonalds.
3. Run 26.5 miles in 4 hours.
WHICH OF THESE THINGS DOESNT ACTUALLY HAPPEN, I WONDER. HM.
So, they just showed a short interview with Milky in London, and that was kinda random. I JUST HOPE HOPE HOPE HE DOES GET TO 2012. I will absolutely CRY if he pulls a Thorpe and retires in like 2010 or something. Bah.
Celisse (10:39:49 PM): DEBBIE
Celisse (10:39:54 PM): awwww
Celisse (10:40:10 PM): i want my mom to move to baltimore and work in debbie’s school and be her best friend
Celisse (10:40:26 PM): and then i can become friends with michael cos we’ll have dinner parties and i will invite the phelpsies
Celisse (10:40:27 PM): and then
Celisse (10:40:32 PM): he’ll bring his good friend ryan
Celisse (10:40:38 PM): and we’ll sneak into the coat room for some hot coat room sex
Celisse (10:41:08 PM): and that will be the beginning of our hot and sexy relationship, basically.
Kimmy Falcon(10:41:15 PM): thats elaborate
CelisseH (10:41:24 PM): well you know. these things need to be planned
MICHAEL PHELPS??? WITH CLOTHES ON?????? WHY?!

MICHAEL PHELPS??? WITH CLOTHES ON?????? WHY?!

This thing is gettin long and I am gettin tired of blogging so I am ending this here. I have to prepare myself for the debilitating depression coming within the next few hours, I’m sure. I’LL HAVE TO BRACE MYSELF BY WATCHING TONS OF GOSSIP GIRL AND FINALLY FINISHING THE HOTTIE POST I OWE YOU ALL.
Until then, I’d like to call upon the hotties of the world to reconvene in 4 years in LONDON, to be hot, and light up the world’s stage once again. That means you, Horton. AND LOCHTE<33333.
Short Hotties.

Short Hotties.

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I am terrible at writing blog headlines, honestly. They very rarely have anything to do with the actual post. Know why? It’s cos I’m friggen insane. Yeah. AND the TAN FROM HELL from my birthday has FINALLY worn off and I’m really pretty sad about it.

But insane as I may be, I do have a gift for you all, friends and lovers. And that gift is a blog dedicated to [WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT …………….] Misty May’s ass. NO I AM NOT KIDDING. Most of my visitors here are still looking for that damned great wall video and I DO NOT HAVE IT, PEOPLE. I DO NOT KNOW WHERE TO FIND IT. I JUST DON’T. But since I can’t provide you with that video, I’ll just provide you with a blog dedicated to:

MISTY MAY’S ASS.

Also, HELLO. HELLO, CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THIS:

WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE REAL.

MISTY MAY’S ASS IS SO NOT THAT BIG, PEOPLE. WHO WOULD PHOTOSHOP THAT WOMAN’S ASS? SHE IS PERFECT JUST AS SHE IS, YOU FRIGGEN WEIRDOS!

Gosh.

Now that I have given you all my gift and been totally horrified by fake ass, I’m going to continue perving out over 19 year old US diver, David Boudia. OHHHHH MAN. He is five years younger than I am and I DO NOT EVEN CARE, BROS.

Hi, David Boudia. Wear speedos every day for the rest of your life ok? Or, at least until you turn 23.

Hi, David Boudia. Wear speedos every day for the rest of your life ok? Or, at least until you turn 23.

I’m creepy.

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I love Dayron Robles just cos of his COOL. ASS. GLASSES. Por ejemplo:
Dayron Robles, Olympic hurdler for Cuba

Dayron Robles, Olympic hurdler for Cuba

All those motherfuckers with their sporty assed sunglasses need to WATCH OUT cos Dayron Robles is comin through with his GRANDPA GLASSES. So hot. So hot right now.

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I saw this posted someplace and I couldn’t help but share with the rest of you Phelps Phans. WAHAHAHAHA. PHANS. hahahamdfgkldfsd ok posting now.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Food Cop Michael Jacobson, here’s an excerpt from his wikipedia:

Jacobson is a vegetarian and sits on the national board of the “Great American Meatout.” He has said that “CSPI is proud of finding something wrong with practically everything.” Jacobson and his organization have criticized a wide variety of foods and beverages as unhealthful. He and CSPI frequently use colorful terms to emphasize their oppositionn to certain foods. What has been called the “food cop glossary” includes Fettuccine alfredo- “heart attack on a plate,” salt – “the forgotten killer,” sugary soft drinks – “liquid candy,” movie theater popcorn -“Godzilla of snacks,” fondue – “fondon’t,” ice cream – “coronaries in cones,” double cheeseburger – “a coronary bypass special,” appetizers – “the most treacherous territory on a restaurant menu,” Starbucks’ Venti Caffe Mocha with whipped cream – “a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in a cup,” Ruby Tuesday’s Fresh Chicken & Broccoli Pasta – “angioplasta,” Chipotle Chicken Burrito – “tortilla terror,” and Cheesecake Factory’s Chris’ Outrageous Chocolate Cake – “factory reject.” (Kathryn Masterson, “Food Cop: Love Him or Hate Him, Chicago Trib, 14 Oct 07)

Yeah. Sounds like a real barrel of monkeys, that one. GUYS, LETS ALL ADOPT MILKY’S DIET AND TELL THAT GUY TO SHOVE IT.

….you know, if we can actually get up and through the front door considering not all of us are as… athletic as Sir Phelps up there. Jeez.

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Renee: and who the heck is this lochte dude
Celisse: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Celisse: HOTTIEST HOTTIE WHO EVER HOTTIED
Renee: HAHAH
Renee: i’m looking him up…
Renee: i bet he’s ugly
Celisse: oh you TAKE IT BACK.
Renee: oh i’m stalking now
Renee: nice bod
Renee: face? hmmmm
Celisse: oh i’ll show you the funniest video about him i’ve ever seen
Renee: k
Celisse:
Renee: is he serious about the grille?
Celisse: AHAHAAH he actually wears it
Renee: is he SERIOUS ABOUT THE DRAWINGS?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Celisse: fishes jumping through the clouds
Celisse: HAHAHAHA
Celisse: the first time i saw that video I LAUGHED SO HARD FOR MANY MINUTES
Renee: i think God put all of his effort into ryan’s swimming talent.
Celisse: haahahahahah he’ll probably be an astronaut after his swimming career is over
Renee: yeah cuz he’s just so original
Celisse: haahaha and so laid back.
Celisse: i’ll be mrs astronaut.
Renee: except he’s way too dumb to be an astronaut
Celisse: HAHAHAH
Celisse: shush, non-believer!

Renee then proceeded to draw a future family portrait of Hubby Lochte and myself in the FUTUREEEE:

No, he's not fat in the future. He's wearing a SPACE SUIT. Cos he's an ASTRONAUT.

No, he's not fat in the future. He's wearing a SPACE SUIT. Cos he's an ASTRONAUT. And he has sparkly teeth.

So. I was going to use this post to pimp out www.cellspin.net, but NEVERMIND, cos it REFUSES TO WORK ON WORDPRESS, APPARENTLY. Woe.

Anyway, I know I promised you all a hottie post today but I guess there’s a tropical storm or something coming and I was forced to make preparations, even though it’s not really hitting my side of Florida. WHATEVER. Now I’m in need of a nap and I’m depressed that swimming is over. WOE.

I swear there will be a hottie post in this space by tomorrow evening, so watch out for that. To tide you over in the mean time, heres some Lochte, at the Speedo Athletes party at Wish, Beijing:

You’ll be the cutest lil’ astronaut I ever did see, honey.

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