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Posts Tagged ‘south florida’

[Cross posted to my Tumblr. I thought it could be relevant to my ACTUAL SITE. Go fig.]

Laurishly posting about her visit to the Toilet Seat Museum with Mermaidofthesoil made me laaaaugh, cos it remindedme of this crazy little place on Hollywood Beach called The Le Tub Saloon.

South Florida Tumblrs — have any of you been to this place?

It’s genuinely hilarious. As a South Florida native and as someone who used to work on Hollywood Beach and has thus driven up and down that strip of land huuuuundreds of times, I can attest to the fact that it’s easy to miss this place. It’s on A1A, facing the intercoastal, and hidden by tons of lush greenery. It’s easy to spot once you know it’s there, but yeah, it’s a HIDDEN JEWEL, that one.

So, my best friend Karla and I got invited by our friend Martie to her boyfriend’s friend’s birthday party at Taverna Opa on Hollywood one night. I don’t remember the exact details, but after waiting around for, seriously, over an hour (we saw that effing conga line circle the building at least seven times), for some reason we were denied entry — as is just par for course when I go out with Karla.

Dejected, grumpy, and hungry, Karla is like, “Well, we can go to Le Tub, it’s just a couple blocks up.” And off we went.

This place, man. It’s a friggen gem. It appeals completely to Karla’s and my sense of humor. There are tubs, sinks, and toilets scattered throughout this place. It is completely outdoors. When we got there, there were probably 5 people total enjoying the effing place, completely deserted, and really, really dark.

So we sat ourselves at a big picnic table overlooking the intercoastal: Myself, Martie, her boyf, Karla, and her boyf at the time. I’m constantly a fifth wheel — whatever.

Seriously

The server brings over some menus. They are hand printed. Haaaaaaand Priiiinted, on Xerox paper, with drawings scribbled on ’em. She then begins to list off all the items they don’t have available — which turns out to be most of the menu. Fabulous.

We ordered many rounds of beers and, like, french fries. We sat around and shrugged and giggled that this was a night that would only happen to us.

Then, it started to rain.

I mean, it couldn’t have been more perfect. Past midnight, sitting in the dark, surrounded by toilets, eating french fries and a lot of beer. In the rain.

To top it all off, they don’t take credit cards there, and I was the only homie with cash. The boys had to take turns walking to the nearest ATM (the one on premesis was busted, no joke), and I am almost positive that we all overpaid because attempting to split a check by cellphone light is pretty impossible.

So yes. Only on Hollywood Beach, basically. I give this place an A+++++ WILL DINE AGAIN (in bizarroland, maybe). But if you’re up for hilarious adventures, it’s definitely for you. Apparently they’ve got the best burger in America, or something. I wouldn’t know.

[Also, I don’t know what would possess someone to take a picture with their crying newborn under a toilet seat scrawled with the words “Le Tub Dumb Ass Club Newest Member,” but damn if Flickr doesn’t show me the most wonderful things.]

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That Sarah Palin is one SASSY little MOTHER OF PEARL.

Instead of watching the RNC last night, I spent my time being productive by getting sushi with a friend. I basically win. Two nights of that crap just had to not happen ok? Ok.

I definitely was that girl and said my waiter was cute. And he heard me. TOTAL EMBARRASSMENT, since I am incredibly socially awkward around the opposite sex. Anyway, he was BRAND NEW. I can’t hit on the waiters when they’re new! It’s bad enough we have a REPUTATION at that place. I blame M. Fully.

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In wholly unrelated news, can we please talk about 90210? It was as bad as I thought it would be. To be honest, though, I was never a fan of the original, so I come in with a biased opinion to start. The storylines are the same as every other storyline about a normal small town girl making waves in the big rich city. At least Gossip Girls gives us different scenery. But the most concerning thing about the whole debacle? Observe:

Shenae Grimes (L), AnnaLynne McCord (C), Jessica Stroup (R)

Shenae Grimes (L), AnnaLynne McCord (C), Jessica Stroup (R)

This is AnnaLynne McCord. She is pretty. I can count all of her ribs, but that’s irrelevant. This girl is 21, which isn’t really too old to be playing a teenager, but she LOOKS 25, and is playing a HIGHSCHOOL SOPHOMORE. What? How stoned were the casting agents when THAT decision was made?

The other girls on the show aren’t so bad. Even Shenae can pass as a 15 year old. But AnnaLynne looks like she’s been around the well-maintained cul-de-sac a few too many times.

The final verdict? The new 90210 barely gets a C-. Someone text me when the storylines aren’t all straight out of South of Nowhere.

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In WHOLLY UNRELATED NEWS AGAIN (look, some people post 7 times a day. I just shove everything into one long post.), I’d like to introduce you all, friends and lovers, to my new friend IKE:

HI, IKE.

HI, IKE.

This little monster pretty much exploded over the Atlantic a couple days ago, going from a Tropical storm to a Category 3 in a matter of hours, and then strengthening up to a 4 a few hours after that. Right now it’s a solid Category 3, but as it approaches the warmer waters of the Caribbean, there’s a chance it might strengthen more over the weekend.

That stupid asshole is headed straight for South Florida, although the projected track maps have been leaning it slightly more towards the keys instead of the mainland, which hey.. sucks for the keys, but I don’t want another Category 3 sitting on my porch again, OKAY? I JUST DON’T. Wilma was MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME.

I did the best thing ever, by reading tons of stupid crap on the Wikipedia about category 4 hurricanes, which served to do NOTHING but freak me out needlessly. I’m moronic and paranoid. But alas. In the mean time, I’m being forced to go buy more supplies JUST IN CASE, so off I go.

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